We love guest posts from our pal at King Fish Media, Gordon Plutsky, especially when he writes about our favorite show. Take it away, Gordon …

At the end of July, the AMC show Mad Men returns for its fourth season. The world of media and marketing has changed since the early 1960s advertising heyday. Aside from the obvious cultural changes (drinking, smoking and sexually harassing women in the office were completely acceptable, along with being racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic), the biggest difference is the introduction of an essential measurement that clients now expect their agencies to show: the marketing return on investment.

The Mad Men days were golden ones for media companies and agencies because there was little to no accountability. Marketers spent millions on TV, radio, billboards and magazines, but there was scant actual proof any of it worked. Yes, companies could look at brand sales during the same period of time as a campaign and make some judgments, but it was hardly an exact science.

Media decisions were often made based on the personal — and subjective — logic and taste of the executive who carried the most weight. For example: Think how much money has been spent — and likely wasted — sponsoring golf tournaments.

The advent of cost-per-click from Google changed the equation forever. Suddenly, marketers only paid for consumer action and the “branding” was free. Where did that leave the media empires that were selling the branding opportunities for a king’s ransom? More than a little compromised.

The newfound demand for media measurability among companies formerly beholden to traditional advertising now drives the media itself. Just look at the explosion of digital magazines, mobile/tablet apps and similar media that allow consumers to connect directly with brand content.

Even television is not immune: That medium is now merging with innovative online sites such as Hulu and ESPN3.com to remove the barriers between broadcast television and the Internet to tap into consumer-behavior metrics.

And marketers are already looking toward the next wave of development. So what’s next? We’ll explore that in Part 2 …

Gordon Plutsky is the director of marketing and research at King Fish Media.

I’m on to you, Lorillard, Inc., manufacturers of noted cigarette brands Newport, Kent, True and Old Gold. And now the truth will come out.

Pictured: Not a real band.

Yes, I’ll admit that as a 12-year-old, I snuck into the woods in back of my house to sneak a Newport with my friend Neil. But that was nearly 30 years ago. The statute of limitations has long since expired, and I can no longer be jailed, fined or grounded by my parents. So don’t even try to hold that over my head.

Here’s my shocking revelation: I know the woman and man pictured in a recent ad placed in People magazine don’t actually play in a band!

How have I, a lowly copywriter, managed to uncover this potentially devastating secret? As it turns out, I happen to play guitar. Not very well, but I play it nonetheless. Calling on my years of experience, I present the following evidence:

1. The woman is holding her guitar upside down (the low E string is on the bottom). No one plays the guitar that way, with the notable exception of Jimi Hendrix. And he’s dead! She, however, is not. (Guitar superstar Gerry Giaimo notes:  “Hendrix played lefty, but not upside down. His righty guitars were strung for lefties. But she is playing without a strap, which is bogus.”)
2. Because she’s holding her guitar upside down, I’m willing to bet she’s not playing an actual chord with her right hand. That’s probably why some alert photo editor chose to cut off the photo like that.
3. Guitarists never jump up in the air like that guy unless they’re windmilling, Pete Townsend style. By the looks of this clown, Townsend would eat him for dinner and floss afterwards using the hair from his dreadlocks.
4. I mean, c’mon; do they really look like they’re in a band?

Sorry I had to let the cat out of the bag, Lorillard, Inc. But sometimes (unless I’m being bribed generously) I just have to stay true to my conscience.

Now as for you manufacturing products responsible for the deaths of millions of people each year …

Dear Emma/Madison/Hannah/Olivia,

Wow! You found a kitten. That must have been fun and surprising, but also a little sad. Where is that kitty’s mommy? I’ll bet you wondered … and then wondered if you could be the mommy. Could you?!!!! Could you?!!!!!

But, no. Your mom/dad/grandma/nanny is allergic. So, the answer is no. No, Emma/Madison/Hannah/Olivia, the answer is not going to change no matter how many times you ask. Even if you give them that look. They mean it.

So you reluctantly made this sign. And you photocopied it. A lot of times. I know because I live in your neighborhood and keep walking by it.

It makes me sad that this kitty is lost and that you can’t keep it. But you know what makes me sadder, Emma/Madison/Hannah/Olivia? No one in your family had the copywriting wherewithal to help you create effective signage.

First, let’s talk about the image.

The right image does add impact; you’re right on that. And you clearly have some creative talent, but I can’t tell from this picture what kind of cat it is. Does it have stripes or spots? What color are its eyes? Does it have a collar? Is it very furry or is it one of those yucky hairless cats? These would be helpful details.

Now, moving onto the copy.

Emma/Madison/Hannah/Olivia, I’m afraid I’m going to have to come down on you pretty hard here. I appreciate that your message is concise and includes a strong call to action. However, there are some critical pieces of missing information that, as a potential kitten rescuer, I need to make a decision:

• Where was the kitten spotted? Saying “this neighborhood” is too broad for your intended audience. Offering an intersection or even “near Hi-Rise bakery” would be helpful. Being specific = being a responsible copywriter.

• What does this kitten look like? I highly recommend adding descriptive detail to your message. For example, if I don’t know what the kitten looks like, I might wrongly assume every kitten I see is the lost kitten.

• When did you find it? It would be helpful to have a date. That way if my kitten disappeared Saturday, July 3, and matched the description (which should be on the sign), I would know to call you.

In closing, I hope your parents change their minds (did you already suggest they get allergy medication?) or at least let you get a non-allergenic pet to love. You have certainly proved you are a responsible child, even if your copywriting skills leave a bit to be desired.

Sincerely,

Anna Goldsmith

Concerned Huron Village Resident, Copywriter

As Anna wrote with regard to Puma, we’re not afraid to take credit for our clients’ success. So here’s a quick post about one of our new clients, PerkStreet Financial.

Just like Puma, PerkStreet Financial was featured in The New York Times this week. The article covered today’s announcement that PerkStreet would double the rebate going to its checking account customers for purchases using their credit card.

Congrats to our friends at PerkStreet! As for you, New York Times, would you consider writing a puff piece on a pair of copywriters who are starving for national press coverage? You know how to find us.

My favorite thing to do on Sunday night is read The New York Times Sunday Styles section. So it was pretty thrilling to turn to page three and see the headline “Goal Oriented” followed by a plug for PUMA’s new Kehinde Wiley collection that we wrote about. They even plugged PUMA’s e-commerce site.

Does that mean fashion-y types everywhere are going to be logging onto shop.puma.com to forward our clever copy blocks to their fashion-y friends? Well, it doesn’t not mean that.

Read the full article or just check out our cool product descriptions.

Kudos to Anna for getting her act together and finally checking out the 2010 Social Media Summit. It had been on my to-do list too. But with the series finale of Lost, the Boston Celtics charging through the playoffs and my countless charitable endeavors, I just couldn’t find the time.

Until last night, that is. I sat myself down and watched “5 Ways to Measure Social Media Marketing Success,” by Jason Falls of Social Media Explorer. (Gotta love a guy who’s landed both Jim Beam and Maker’s Mark as clients.)

Without further ado, here are five things I learned.

Lesson One: What can social media marketing do for your company? Jason broke it down into five categories:

1. Aids in branding and awareness
2. Builds a “community of passionate people who love [your] brand”
3. Provides a customer service opportunity (e.g. identifying aggrieved customers via Twitter tweets)
4. Allows you to gather input from consumers and even collaborate with them in product development
5. Offers the opportunity to sell your product or service directly to consumers

Lesson Two: Before you try to engage in social media marketing, make sure you understand the above capabilities. The same goes for goal-setting — if you don’t understand what social media marketing can do for you, it’s impossible to set meaningful goals.

Lesson Three: Speaking of goals, be sure to keep them “clear and singular.”

• Good goal statement: “We’re going to use social media marketing to increase website traffic.”
• Bad goal statement: “We’re going to use social media marketing to increase website traffic and drive website sales.” (These are two separate goals, and you should treat them as such.)

Lesson Four: Jason sees “objectives” as what supports your overarching goals. And your objectives for social media marketing should be measurable, which means identifying a target audience, level of attainment and timeframe.

An example of a measurable objective for a company looking to build a community of advocates: “We want to achieve 100,000 Facebook fans [i.e. hand-raisers] by December 1st.”

Lesson Five: The next step is to devise a strategy that will allow you to accomplish each objective. Going back to the Facebook example, your strategy might involve:

• Offering an incentive (e.g. T-shirt) for Facebook users to “like you”
• Advertising on Facebook and elsewhere to get the word out about your promotion
• Let your existing network know about the promotion and your objective (e.g. via email lists)
• Consistently engage users on Facebook (e.g. through comments, “questions of the week”)

Finally, developing and fulfilling a list of to-do items allows you to “achieve the strategies that ultimately meet the objectives that ultimately accomplish the goal.”

You got all that? If not, maybe you should sign up for the Social Media Summit and dig into the archived presentations. It’s money well-spent.

–Hey Dan, have you watched any of that Social Media summit thing we signed up for?

–I watched part of one, then I had to go to a meeting. You?

–No, but I’m going to today.

–Yeah, me too.

Yeah, right.

We’ve been saying this for three weeks. Which is when we registered for the 2010 Social Media Success Summit. A series of online lecture-style sessions, this event covers everything from creating buzz with online contests to successfully using Facebook for more than seeing cute pictures of your friends’ babies.

Why did we sign up? We want to be able to help our clients use social media successfully. You know, beyond delicately suggesting their dirt-dumb intern not be the one to write the company Tweets just because he knows how to set up a Twitter account.

So to get ourselves to actually watch these, we decided to present our findings from each session in an easily digestible blog series entitled, “Five Things I Learned.”

Since I’ve recently been feeling guilty about never checking my LinkedIn account, I decided to first check out “Getting the Most Out of LinkedIn: The Business Social Network,” by Lewis Howes.

Here are five things I learned about creating an effective LinkedIn profile and a few other cool things. (Sorry, Howes played to the beginner-to-intermediate crowd — no advanced tips here. Maybe at another session.)

First off, in case you are a real beginner, LinkedIn is an online networking site geared toward a business crowd. It also happens to be the world’s largest audience of affluent professionals with 65 million users with another joining every second.” As Howe reminds us, this means there is a huge, untapped market of potential clients and employers. He’s right. So here’s what you do:

Lesson One: Don’t just complete your profile, optimize it.

And you thought optimizing was just for websites. Nope. First, figure out what your keyword (or words) is — something that easily identifies who you are. No, not like “warm-hearted” and “playful.” This is a business site, people. I mean “cosmetic dentist” or “copywriter.” Use that word or its variations (I used copywriter and copywriting services) in five key places on your profile:

1. Professional headline
2. Current job
3. Past job(s)
4. Summary
5. Specialties

This dramatically increases the chance you’ll be one of the first cosmetic dentists, copywriters (or whatever) when someone needing these service does a LinkedIn search.

Lesson Two: Make the most of your profile headline.

Don’t get lazy here and just use a single word or phrase, like “accountant” or “job-seeking accountant.” This should be a shortened version of your profile — a one-sentence action-oriented summary of your professional identity. It’s the first and often the only thing that someone will read before deciding if you’re worth their time.

Lesson Three: Include just enough personality.

People like working with people they like. And as we all know, the business world can be cold and impersonal. The easiest place to add in a little business-appropriate personality is in “Specialties.” So after boasting about your impressive Flash animation skills, why not boast about your exceptional quiche-making skills? More often than not, it will serve as an entry point into what is really a conversation between strangers — kinda like a cocktail party icebreaker.

Lesson Four: Join some groups.

Click on groups at the top menu bar and do a search for groups related to your profession, alma mater, geography and interests. For example, I joined a few Boston business groups, Colby College groups and copywriting groups. But also think about who hires you and join those groups, too. For example, I joined a few design groups since many of my clients are designers. Try to post in group discussions to get your name out there. And many groups allow you to send email to the whole group. Just don’t abuse this privilege.

Lesson Five: Don’t ask for recommendations. Give them instead.

Not only do you build goodwill by writing a recommendation un-asked, it’s the most effective way to get one in return. And a bunch of great recommendations — well, they’re a great thing to have.

Bonus tip: If you have a work-related blog, link it to your LinkedIn profile. Any time there’s a new post, it will appear on your profile automatically.

Conclusion: LinkedIn may be the ugly stepsister to sexy Facebook, but she’s worth a second look (if only for her money).

This is the final installment of our customer service series from guest-blogger and King Fish Media’s Director of Marketing and Research, Gordon Plutsky.

In Part 1, I took a look at some bad customer experiences. Here are some companies that understand how they can fulfill their brand promise through customer service.

Every week I drive through two towns and past 10 supermarkets to get to Whole Foods. Not only is the food better and healthier, but the service is impeccable. From the guys behind the meat counter to the friendly cashiers, customers are always treated with respect and professionalism. I look forward to my trips there for what could be a chore.

It really hit me when I stopped into a major supermarket chain to pick up a few items. To get my deli order, I had to bust up a complaint session among the workers about the break schedule. At the checkout, I was treated to a conversation between the cashier (Brittney) and the bagger (Courtney). Brit and Court completely ignored me while yapping back and forth about a classmate who had the temerity to brag about owning an $80 shirt. In all the commotion, several of my groceries were smashed as they were thrown into flimsy plastic bags.

Comcast is another company that understands customer service. They understand they are a big, ugly utility that overcharges for their service — a service that doesn’t always work as advertised. To compensate, their phone customer reps and field service employees go out of their way to be courteous, knowledgeable and helpful.

I made the cardinal mistake of getting the first rev of their TIVO box and the software was buggy. Every time I called ready to cancel, I was sweet-talked into staying. They acknowledged the service needed work and offered me discounts to stick with them. How could I say no? Whenever something didn’t work, it was replaced at no cost, no questions asked and with a smile. That kind of service buys patience as they work out some bugs.

I have also encountered great service at Mercedes-Benz, Best Buy, Amazon.com and dozens of small local companies/stores. In almost all cases, it’s worth a premium. I wonder how many grand marketing plans are undone by bad customer service, an impersonal phone system or a balky website. How many CMOs have customer service reporting directly to them? If they don’t, they should — it’s just as important as any other aspect of their marketing plan.

When he’s not quoting Don Draper, CrossFit training or watching the NY Jets, Gordon Plutsky is King Fish Media’s Director of Marketing and Research. And today he is our guest blogger. (He also writes a great blog for King Fish.) Gordon, we salute your takedown of bad customer service. This is part one of a two part series.

Customer service is one of the most important elements of your brand promise. It is where you and the customer come face to face. All your slick websites, social media programs and ad schedules can be undone by bad customer service.

Companies such as Zappos (a King Fish client) have made great service their differentiator and even built an ad campaign around it. I’ve had some recent experiences that illustrate how front line customer service can have a bottom line effect.

No industry does more to turn off their customers than America’s airlines. They talk the talk, but rarely walk the walk. My wife and I went to Florida on vacation via Jet Blue — we could have checked two bags of 50 pounds each; but we had one bag of 54 pounds. We were given the option of holding up a huge line and pulling out four pounds of stuff or paying $50 extra.

Given the hassle we already went through with airport parking and the charming TSA agents (it appears their sole purpose is to monitor the toiletries of law-abiding citizens), I paid the $50 and just went on my way. I tried to explain that we were 46 pounds under as a family, but no dice. Rules are rules, pay up.

Last week I was with a colleague in Washington, DC, at the US Air Shuttle. We had tickets for the 2:30 shuttle but were at the gate in time for the 1:30 flight, and they had seats available that were going to be empty when the plane took off.

We asked if we could switch to the earlier flight; the gate agent/prison guard snapped “$50 change fee per ticket.” Keep in mind there is absolutely no hard cost to letting us sit in these empty seats, but rules are rules, pay up. We declined and my colleague wrote a strongly worded email to the CEO of US Air. A few days later a reply came back that apologized for our dissatisfaction, but no explanation of why a $50 charge to get on a flight an hour earlier that had empty seats.

Recently I called United Mileage Plus to ask if there was any way I could get my “lifetime mileage” reinstated that expired last year. It took 10 minutes of pushing different combinations of phone buttons to even get a human. Their automated call system had no choice for speaking to a customer service rep.

I finally got a guy with a shaky command of English. I told him how I had earned the miles over 15 years, but haven’t been traveling on United lately and would love to reengage as a customer. Sorry, nothing he can do. In the interest of marketing science, I came right out and said, “You won’t even consider it if it means that I nor my company will ever fly United again and I will tell everyone I know not to fly United?” His response: If I take their Visa card, I can get 50,000 miles. My response is unprintable in a family blog.

Three companies in a struggling industry had a chance to make a friend and possible loyal customer. Imagine if any of those situations went in another direction, how happy I would have been and how my perception of that airline would have changed. Instead I am writing this post and will push it out to the many people I am connected to via social media.

In Part 2: companies that truly understand the value of customer service.

What’s wrong with this picture? No, I don’t mean that I have a newspaper bag taped to my office wall. (Yeah, we at The Hired Pens still read the newspaper.) Don’t see it? Okay, here’s a hint: This landed on my stoop three days ago. May 2010. Now do you see?

This bag asks me to bring it to the Verizon Kiosk at my local Mall* starting

11/26/09 thru** 1/4/10 for a chance to WIN A FREE*** 55″ HD TV!

My first reaction when I saw this bag was, “Are you kidding me? I have to save this stupid bag until November!?” Then I saw the date. Oh, it’s a mistake.

But, whose mistake is it? There are three potential culprits:

Culprit #1: Verizon

If you’ve ever been to a murder mystery party hosted by my friend Andy, you’ll know the most obvious culprit is never the guilty party. I think Verizon is the victim. But they are guilty of other writing crimes for which we feel obligated to take them to task.

Dear Verizon,

You have a lot of money. Hire a proofreader who knows that MALL should be lowercased. That it’s redundant to use WIN and FREE in the same breath. And that only fast food joints and teenage girls writing notes in class are allowed to use THRU.

Sincerely,

The Hired Pens

Culprit #2: The Globe

Trying to save money wherever money can be saved, they reuse plastic bags from expired advertising campaigns.

Dear The Boston Globe,

Making your advertisers look stupid is not a step in the right direction to save your flailing newspaper. Instead, try not pissing off your subscribers by jacking up the rates while your paper gets slimmer.

Sincerely,

The Hired Pens

Culprit #3: The Paper Boy

The Globe leaves it to our hapless paper delivery boy to find his own plastic bags. As his own cost-saving solution, late one night he breaks into the Verizon storage facility on Route 128 and steals leftover plastic bags.

Dear Paper Boy,

I sincerely doubt this is what happened, but if it is, I admire your inventiveness. But you should quit. No one should make you risk a criminal record for minimum wage and such early hours.

Sincerely,

The Hired Pens

I love The Globe, but I think it’s their fault. And this is big. This is a big mistake. At least for those of us still reading the paper and considering a flat-screen TV.