Cool It with the Exclamation Points, Sovereign Bank

I’ll admit that complaining about exclamation points isn’t exactly the freshest angle for a copywriter to pursue. But on my way to work today, I saw such an egregious use of this rampantly overused punctuation mark that I have to comment on it. Outside my local Sovereign Bank — where I’m a satisfied customer, by […]

Random Thoughts on Pedestrians with Death Wishes … and Anonymous Testimonials

Two things I’m pondering on this gorgeous late summer’s day … 1) We see a lot from our offices high above Davis Square, and I want to state this for the record: Any day now, some clueless pedestrian sauntering across the street while texting is going to get injured or killed by an oncoming car. […]

Just Because You Say It Doesn’t Make It So, Papa Gino’s

If you’re in marketing, you have to have some tolerance for BS. We’re in the business of hype, after all, and our job is to build things up and make people believe they can’t survive without whatever it is our client is trying to sell. However, I have my standards. I don’t use the word […]

Mixed Messages

You have a gorgeous lawn. You have invested a lot of time and money making it just so. Your hedges are perfectly trimmed. Your carefully pruned garden is bursting with color. Your grass is so lush and green it makes your neighbors wonder if they really have the same water supply. Hey, you know the […]

The Kids Are Not Alright

As a copywriter who has been around for a few years, I sometimes worry about the future. Will supercomputers that “think” like humans someday make me obsolete? We’re probably awhile off from that. Will the natural aging process slowly eat away at my mental function, thus rendering me ineffective as a writer? At some point, […]

The Hired Pens Advice Column: Ava’s Hot Dog’s

Dear Hired Pens, How do you tell a family member that the sign for their business (a hot dog stand) is an embarrassment? “Ava’s Hot Dog’s.” In a pickle, Simone Dear Simone, I have thought a lot/alot about your question. I even posted it on Facebook to see if anyone had any good suggestions for […]

You Say You Want a Revolution(ary Brand of Motor Oil)

Most copywriters are sticklers for words, and I’m no exception. So at least once a day, I’m bound to come across something that offends my delicate sensibilities. Earlier today, I heard a radio ad for a motor oil that was touted as “revolutionary.” I thus was reminded that revolutionary has become one of those annoying […]

Oh, Steel Drum Player, Why Must You Torment Me So?

Steel Drum Player is back. Like the famed Capistrano swallows returning to southern California each spring, so too does Steel Drum Player to our Davis Square neighborhood. Contrary to what you might expect, Steel Drum Player is a slender little white guy with glasses. And once the spring weather comes around — as it finally […]

An Open Letter to the Potential Client Who Contacted Us Last Month

Dear Potential Client, When you called us just before Thanksgiving, you were filled with urgency and enthusiasm. “We need copy for our website,” you said, “and it’s got to be ready in three weeks. Can you get me a quote by this afternoon?” “Yes,” I said. For we like to be accommodating. Especially when we […]

C’mon, Honda, I Know You’re Better Than This!

I’ve been a Honda owner for six years. And like most Honda owners, I’m pretty happy with my vehicle. You can tell that when it comes to designing and manufacturing cars, Honda really pays attention to the details. Apparently, however, Honda’s attention to the details doesn’t carry over to their advertising campaigns. Last week, while […]