This morning a design friend of mine sent me a great article called “World’s Best Headlines: BBC News” written by “usability guru” Jakob Nielsen. As the title suggests, Web writers could learn a thing or two from BBC’s headline-writing pros.

Nielsen writes, “For several years, I’ve been very impressed with BBC News headlines, both on the main BBC homepage and on its dedicated news page. Most sites routinely violate headline guidelines, but BBC editors consistently do an awesome job.”

Now, while the BBC might prefer a different word choice than “awesome,” Nielsen’s right. These headlines are awe-inspiring. So how does the BBC do it?

Their secret can be reduced to this: Every word “works hard for its living.”

The average headline is just five words, but tells you exactly what you need to know.

• Romania blamed over Moldova riots

• Ten arrested in UK anti-terrorism raids

• Iran accuses journalist of spying

So how did BBC get so good at writing headlines or their website? Nielsen’s thesis is a good one:

“It’s in the BBC’s blood: The news organization originated as a radio station, where word count is at a premium and you must communicate clearly to immediately grab listeners.”

And if you want to capture readers on the Web, you need to grab them, too. After all, just like the radio, one click and they’re gone. So in honor of the impending bathing suit season, trim the fat, baby.

A strange illness is devastating bat populations throughout the Northeast, and few people seem to care. Some wildlife experts believe the lack of research dollars going toward the problem is due to the fact that, well, people generally don’t like bats.

In a recent Boston Globe article, Beth Daley writes:

Despairing bat biologists want to hire a publicist – a kind of public relations batman – to give bats an image makeover and educate people about the night creatures’ ecological benefits. If they could get people to care even half as much as they do about polar bears, these researchers say, desperately needed dollars and attention may follow to save the misunderstood animals.

“We’re talking about the need for a full-time publicist, and talks on CNN and David Letterman,” said [Boston University bat researcher] Tom Kunz.

But while bats are widely loathed and feared, why do some other animals of questionable repute get a free pass? I did some investigating and found that many species are in fact represented by major PR agencies. A quick sampling …

Squirrels

• Image: Cute little nut-storing balls of fur.
• Reality: Rats with bushy tails.
• PR agency of record: APCO Worldwide, Washington, D.C.
• Quote from PR flak: “From Rocky the Flying Squirrel to Twiggy the Water Skiing Squirrel, America has long had a love affair with the squirrel.”

Panda Bears

• Image: Cuddly, sedate creatures who munch on leaves and birth adorable cubs.
• Reality: Vicious killers who often terrorize innocent bystanders just for giggles.
• PR agency of record: ICR, Westport, Conn.
• Quote from PR flak: “I think we can all agree that General Gau’s chicken and panda bears are China’s greatest exports.”

Cows

• Image: Benign, benevolent sources of milk and beef.
• Reality: Methane-producing global warmers.
• PR agency of record: Edelman, New York, N.Y.
• Quote from PR flak: “The Hindus have it right: We should treat cows with the same respect we give our own mothers. Now excuse me while I finish my Double Big Mac.”

So the next time you see a bat, don’t shriek in terror. Instead, put him in touch with a good PR agency.<-->

And here are the answers from the previous post, where we invited readers to see how many famous movie taglines they could correctly identify. 

1.     “They’re young … they’re in love … and they kill people.” (Bonnie and Clyde, 1967)

2.     “This is Benjamin. He’s a little worried about his future.” (The Graduate, 1967)

3.     “Don’t get him wet, keep him out of bright light and never feed him after midnight.” (Gremlins, 1984)

4.     “Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven.” (A Clockwork Orange, 1971)

5.     “On every street in every city, there’s a nobody who dreams of being a somebody.” (Taxi Driver, 1976)

6.     “A monster science created, but could not destroy!” (Frankenstein, 1931)

7.     “The strangest story ever conceived by man.” (King Kong, 1933)

8.     “For anyone who has ever wished upon a star.” (Pinocchio, 1940)

9.     “A nervous romance.” (Annie Hall, 1977)

10.   “Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.” (Jaws 2, 1978)

11.   “The happiest sound in all the world!” (The Sound of Music, 1965)

12.   “Love is in the hair.” (There’s Something About Mary, 1998)

13.   “She brought a small town to its feet and a huge corporation to its knees.” (Erin Brockovich, 2000)

14.   “In space, no one can hear you scream.” (Alien, 1979)

15.   “He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home.” (E.T., 1982)

16.   “He’s the only kid ever to get into trouble before he was born.” (Back to the Future, 1985)

17.   “Before Sam was murdered, he told Molly he’d love and protect her forever.” (Ghost, 1990)

18.   “She walked off the street and into his life, and stole his heart.” (Pretty Woman, 1991)

19.   “An adventure 65 million years in the making.” (Jurassic Park, 1993)

20.   “What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?” (Sleepless in Seattle, 1993)

21.   “A homespun murder story.” (Fargo, 1996)

22.   “Don’t answer the phone. Don’t open the door. Don’t try to escape.” (Scream, 1996)

23.   “Protecting the earth from the scum of the universe!” (Men in Black, 1997)

24.   “Her life was in their hands. Now her toe is in the mail.” (The Big Lebowski, 1998)

25.   “There are 3.7 trillion fish in the ocean. They’re looking for one.” (Finding Nemo, 2003)

As a copywriter, I spend a lot of time thinking about taglines. The best ones are both memorable and also manage to summarize the company’s brand essence in a few short words. Nike: Just do it. Apple: Think different. The Hired Pens: We choose your words carefully.

You might not have known ours, but I’ll bet you knew Nike’s and Apple’s, even if you didn’t know it was called a “tagline.”

Well, copywriters aren’t the only ones charged with this often daunting, time-consuming and ridiculously fun task (well, if you’re into this sort of thing). Hollywood executives do it, too. The result of their creativity, or lack thereof, can make or break a movie.

So in this blog post – which was inspired by my film-professor husband, who recently gave a lecture on this very subject – we challenge you to see if you can correctly mix and match some of the most famous movie taglines.

Directions

See how many you can match. Don’t share your answers in the comment field – but do feel free to list YOUR favorite tagline that didn’t make the list. Answers will come tomorrow, and you can share how many you got right.

Here are the taglines:

1.     “They’re young … they’re in love … and they kill people.”

2.     “This is Benjamin. He’s a little worried about his future.”

3.     “Don’t get him wet, keep him out of bright light and never feed him after midnight.”

4.     “Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven.”

5.     “On every street in every city, there’s a nobody who dreams of being a somebody.”

6.     “A monster science created, but could not destroy!”

7.     “The strangest story ever conceived by man.”

8.     “For anyone who has ever wished upon a star.”

9.     “A nervous romance.”

10.   “Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.”

11.   “The happiest sound in all the world!”

12.   “Love is in the hair.”

13.   “She brought a small town to its feet and a huge corporation to its knees.”

14.   “In space, no one can hear you scream.”

15.   “He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home.”

16.   “He’s the only kid ever to get into trouble before he was born.”

17.   “Before Sam was murdered, he told Molly he’d love and protect her forever.”

18.   “She walked off the street and into his life, and stole his heart.”

19.   “An adventure 65 million years in the making.”

20.   “What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?”

21.   “A homespun murder story.”

22.   “Don’t answer the phone. Don’t open the door. Don’t try to escape.”

23.   “Protecting the earth from the scum of the universe!”

24.   “Her life was in their hands. Now her toe is in the mail.”

25.   “There are 3.7 trillion fish in the ocean. They’re looking for one.”

And here are the movies they come from:

(There’s Something About Mary) (Back to the Future) (Frankenstein) (The Graduate) (The Sound of Music) (King Kong, original) (Ghost) (Pinocchio, original) (Bonnie and Clyde) (A Clockwork Orange) (Taxi Driver) (Annie Hall) (Jaws 2) (Alien) (E.T.) (Gremlins) (Pretty Woman) (Sleepless in Seattle) (Fargo) (Scream) (Men in Black) (The Big Lebowski) (Jurassic Park) (Finding Nemo) (Erin Brockovich)

Answers coming Thursday … Stay tuned.

I freely claim to be bad at a lot of things. Dancing, gardening, communicating with people who have a thick foreign accent, fixing just about anything around the house … the list goes on.

On the other hand, I don’t claim to be good at much. Writing is one of the few categories where I’d come out all right if you lined up everyone from worst to best. Arguably, it’s my only marketable skill. I’ll take what I can get.

So when someone on the client side questions something I write, it’s only natural for me to defend my turf. If the person obviously knows a thing or two about writing, I’ll make my case but ultimately defer if necessary. Perfectly happy to do that.

The problem arises when the criticism comes from the wrong type of person. That is, someone who has no business critiquing my writing (or that of my four-year-old son) yet apparently thinks he’s the bastard child of Robert Bly and David Oglivy. 

Sample observation: “You’ll have to rework this paragraph. You can’t start a sentence with ‘and,’ ‘but’ or ‘or.’”

Sorry. Hold on a minute. Even writing that last line got me so worked up that I needed to stop and count to 10. Notice I didn’t write “ten.” That’s because I know you spell out numbers under ten and use numerals for 10 and up. I know this because I am a professional copywriter.

And as a professional copywriter, I’m certain you can start a sentence with a preposition. In fact, you can do all kinds of crazy things in your writing if a) you know what you’re doing, and b) your approach is appropriate for the particular situation.

So, dear anonymous client, please understand that I think you’re great. I really do appreciate your business. I even appreciate thoughtful feedback, despite how this rant may sound. All I’m saying is this: I’m sure there are many things I could learn from you (see my opening paragraph for ideas). But if you start dissing my syntax, thems are fightin’ words.